


Suicidal Angel

by JohnLaurensxSamAdams



Category: Hamilton - Fandom, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Blind Character, Getting there nonbinary Laf, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Multi, Suicide Attempt, Winter, hella gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-02-18 09:42:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13097439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnLaurensxSamAdams/pseuds/JohnLaurensxSamAdams
Summary: Death is an escape. An escape that comes easy, but never leaves easy. Some people come into our lives for a reason. Some to love you. Some to teach you. Some to protect you. But some are brought in to save your life. Because no one should need to use death as an escape.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: suicide attempts. And a lot of sad. Lots of sad. If you don't like sad turn around now. If you think you can tough it out than, yay for you. Cuz I totally cried while writing this.

Death is an escape. An escape that comes easy, but never leaves easy. When life gets to hard to go on, people use that escape. Some people come into our lives for a reason. Some to love you. Some to teach you. Some to protect you. But some are brought in to save your life. Because no one should need to use death as an escape.  
But Alexander was sick of hearing that. Laf had tried to save him. But he had failed. Herc had tried to save him. He failed too. So here the 21 man is, hanging over a bridge's rail and staring into the cold dark water rushing below him. His heart pounds as he gets ready to plummet over the edge. To a escape that he needed.  
"Hey wait!" He turns around and spots a man running across to Alex. His scarf blows in the wind and lush curls are falling out of a poorly put up ponytail. He holds out his hands as if in surrender. "You don't want to do it."  
"Why the fuck should I listen to you?! You just know you'll feel guilty after I topple over so you trying to be the hero and save me! No, I'm jumping! And you can't stop me!" Alex snaps, tears running down his face. This man doesn't care. No one does. Not his father. Not his cousin. Not his brother. Not his mother. The man sighs and nods.  
"I know you think that, but I want to help you. I've been there. And you won't. I see it in your eyes. If you let me help you, then no one else will do this after you. Think of who it will effect. Do you want to leave all of this in shambles after you die?" The man comes closer and offers his hand. Alex thinks of his boyfriends.   
Lafayette trying to teach him to dance in his red dress. The scent of violet that always seemed to be in the air around him. Him coming home in need of cuddles after a hard day at the cafe. Pretending to not know how to speak English to amuse his lovers.  
Hercules smiling at him from the door way as he held out his walking stick. Him running into the door and walls because Alex and Laf weren't paying attention. His hands telling the fabrics if his designs apart because his eyes couldn't.  
He nods and lets the stranger help him back over. So just like that, the stranger would come into Alex's life and save him. The stranger's name was John Laurens. Years later, the man sits in the same place and jumps over. He's injured badly and is placed in the care of a man he saved from a worse fate. Death is a coward's escape. And everyone deserves a second chance.


	2. I Wish I'd Have Died There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world is cruel and harsh. It will help you up just to push you down harder. But if you reach the top of the hill you've climbed, you get to stand on top of evreything and say: "I made it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The world is cruel and harsh. It will help you up just to push you down harder. But if you reach the top of the hill you've climbed, you get to stand on top of evreything and say: "I made it."
> 
> I'm making this fic because I recently found out one of my friends tried to kill themself. I've stood in the sand spot so now I want to get it out there that you are not alone.
> 
> #youareloved

John wasn't really a good person. He knew that. He hated himself. For years he'd been abused and bullied. His one love broke up with him because being gay "wasn't right by The Lord" and all that. For years he'd been going to the same bridge ready to jump. Instead, until a month ago, someone would be there ready to jump. He'd stop them. At least he could go out with a bang then. One day he'd finally done it. No one had screamed stop until he'd actually jumped and plummeted down. He'd meant to die there. And he now has to live with a man he saved. A man who is now happy and find while John can't even stand up. He's broken. He's useless. He's nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Death isn't a short cut to anything but regret and guilt. It's not a real way out, it only leaves more people broken.  
> This is super short  
> SORRY!!! ::::((((


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same message as always. Hills are only worth climbing if you make it to the top. And from there it's a breeze. #youareloved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same message as always. Hills are only worth climbing if you make it to the top. And from there it's a breeze. #youareloved

John couldn't meet his new caretakers eyes. Three pairs of eyes flick over to his direction every now and again.  
A pair of dark coco eyes that blaze with a fiery passion and ooze charm. Intelligent and bright, they light up the room.  
One of a faded brown that never truly move, just stare blankly at the horizon. Those eyes only stare in his general direction when he makes noise.  
And a pair of light brown that glitter with gold flecks. They dance in the light and sparkle as brightly as their owners smile.  
They seemed happy. Maybe Alexander Hamilton doesn't remember him, but John never forgot him.  
("Hey, don't do it please!"  
"Why should I listen to you....?")  
John's first saved life. And now he could see that had helped. Maybe he'd been saved for the same reason. John highly doubted it, but he needed something to believe right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. ;)

**Author's Note:**

> We all need angels. If you feel like no one will care if you died, than know this person cares. You are loved.


End file.
